so i said


so i stumbled onto a close friend's blog
and i really didnt mean to intrude, but on the contrary, i think i should
because?
he is my close friend.
been through a lot with him for the past 3 years plus
we meet almost everyday, had our fair share of misunderstandings, and been through good times together
but i discovered something in his blog, that puts me, or rather our group of friends apart from his personal life.
he thinks we take him for granted.
i know i dont
well, i know some people still busied themselves with silly insignificant relationship stuffs
and i cant be bothered
theres a limit to being caring for another party,
i mean i can be caring, anybody who knows me, i do take an interest in my freinds problems.
but not too excessive
to ppl who really know me, i'm not the sort who will ' jaga tepi kain orang '
sheesh
and sum ppl can get uptight abt being used as a part time confidante
ok maybe, that sucks.
but for me, personally, i have matured a lot in the past few years.
i accept whatever that comes my way. without much ado
ppl come and look me up,
i do my part
well, we are a group
and we are brothers,
so i dont mind.
to put it frankly, just be yourself.
i know i am.
come on friend.
let loose
you know i'm here
not necessarily me alone
theres panjy for you
but you and me, we do know that we have that unspoken understanding btwn us

ahm enlisting on the 20th of october
trying to grapple with fact that i'll be undergoing it alone
well, it has been this way since february
i'm meeting her again this sunday
which totals up to only twice since i broke up with her
i resign to the fact that she is sumone else's
frankly i wake up everyday, feeling disappointed with myself
partly because of what happened,
and the way i am going abt in my life
a fren of mine mentioned to me, i shouldnt be going around doing onto ppl whatever i wouldnt like ppl to be doing onto me
fathom that yourselves
god, i miss her
' i have no belief,
but i belive i'm a walking contradiction,
and i have have got no right,

hit and run and then i'll hit you again,
i'm a smart ass but i'm playing dumb. '

i have constant refutations with myself
help me.