dream

i dream of all these materialistic things

of having a million dollars
my XR400
N-Gage QD, so i can play FIFA via Bluetooth with my bro.
a tongue piercing, again.
a new pair of shoe, PATH would be nice.
a new watch
a new computer
a dvd player for my room

i strive towards these hopes...

conclude my service to the nation
my younger bro to grow up to be an upright and responsible person
my parents to live their golden years happily
ideas of going to Malaysia to take the equivalent of A Levels
sooth the troubled mind.

i want to turn to God.
everything comes from Him.
yes, i do feel empty.
holding on, to whatever i have left.

obliged to..?
perhaps.

strange entry.
but all these just came out.
trying to purge, i dont know what.
the compulsive thoughts of me
its weighing down.

i look back on the days i felt myself to be on top of the world

but in recent times,
i find myself craning to catch a glimpse of what is past.

'behold, the fields of gold,
shimmering, blinding, of treasures untold,
what may i pursue, dreams of saccharine numbness,
crippled, i'm not one of you . the Bold.

the Bold. the one who goes with valour,
and i cower, at every resounding step taken'

i leave to you then.
the Bold.
or i call it, fate.